I know I said that I wasn’t planning on writing anytime soon, but I have had an interesting morning. My dh took the kids out Christmas shopping so I decided I was finally going to clean the kids toys out. They had been scattered on the floor, in laundry baskets and elsewhere for at least a month. Everytime I go into that room to clean or find something I get some anxiety. Not your normal increase in heartrate….I get severe tightness in my chest, a lump in my throat, acid reflux, a headache, and a host of other issues.
This morning was no different. usually I just leave the room and figure I will clean it up another day. Today I decided it all needed to at least be picked up. So, I got a big tub from the basement and started to empty the laundry baskets. The panic got worse…..I needed to leave to medicate, take a drink of water, breathe….. I would go back in a straighten a little more and have to leave again. I really think that I was on the verge of a panic attack. When my first son was born I was a big fan of flylady…one of her things is “Just 15 minutes” so I set my timer and tackled the room. Then I would come out and take a break…then go in again. It all got done…well, it all got stashed in bins at least.
It was all too much to sort through each toy right now…but I am planning on going back just 15 minutes at a time. I felt like one of those people with the houses and clutter up to there necks. My house is NOWHERE near that, but I could understand how it is all too overwhelming. I have always been a saver. I have a cup from that a guy from middle school drank out of, locks of hair from friends, letters that were passed in school and so much more. I am so sick of all this stuff strangling me. I envy my friends who can throw something away without a blink of an eye. I debate each paper as it goes in the trash.
I know there are others of you like me…and I am so proud that I got the toy room cleaned up. I know that I can defeat my problem and take over my home again…one step at a time. This is part of being a mom – tackling clutter. So, I will be sure to journal my adventures and battles whether good or bad with you on this blog.